“Okay, we don’t need the hands, Phil. I don’t know what you’re doing here. Who are you calling?”

He’s working up a sweat.

Ellie: There was a time in my life when I too loved Edward Cullen. When Jacob was merely a blimp on my radar screen, but then something changed. Maybe I changed.  Maybe I learned the value of the guy who was also my friend, but more likely, Jacob changed. When he took his shirt off in New Moon, I saw those changes and I was like, “yeah! I wanna bake cookies on your stomach”.
Mariana: No. Those are fake abs.
Ellie: These are not fake abs.
Mariana: They are too fake! They’re CGI just like the wolves!
Ellie: These are real. His abs are real.
Mariana: If those abs are real, then the dude who played Jacob deserves an Oscar!
Ellie: Yeah he does deserve an Oscar. He does deserves an Oscar, he does!

Mariana: Love. What is it? Can it be planned? Or is it fated. I believe it is. And the moment I heard Edward say, “I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore”, I knew we’d be together.
Student: I’m sorry, does she think she’s gonna end up with a fictional vampire from Twilight?
Mariana: Not think, know.
Ellie: Hey what I have told you? Mariana-
[Mariana starts kissing her notebook]
Mr. Armstrong: What have I told you Mariana? What are you doing?
Mariana: I’m sorry. Notebooks are for notes, not for kissing.

Ellie: Well, if we’re gonna have to work together we’re gonna need a truce.
Mariana: Like the truce between the vampires and the werewolves?
Ellie: Well duh what other kind of truces are there?
Mariana: Fine. What’s the truce?
Ellie: If you promise not to disparage my beautiful Jacob, I promise not to mention your moody, over-gelled, girlfriend.
Mariana: No, Edward is.. Edward is a boy!
Ellie: Then why does he sparkle like a princess’ tiara?!

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